Deadbolt "Haight Street Hippie Massacre/Best of Deadbolt" 2003*** (compilation, recorded 1993-2002)

When I realised Friday The 13th was coming once more, I went straight to my CD racks to choose a relevant album for my blog. You see I have developed this tradition of posting horror albums every Friday the 13th. Neglecting to present one would be like The Simpsons not airing a Treehouse Of Horror episode on Halloween - unthinkable. Thankfully, I didn't have to search for long. The obvious choice presented itself by the time I reached D: Deadbolt, the self-proclaimed "scariest band in the world".

"Haight Street Hippie Massacre" is a Best-Of - which, seeing as all this band's songs sound the same, just means it includes more tracks than the average Deadbolt CD. They've dubbed their style "voodoobilly", but if that's not enough for you imagine a mutant strain of psychobilly with surf guitars and lots of country twang - especially in the half-spoken/half-sung vocals. I imagine that's about how Johhny Cash should sound now i.e. after he's been dead for a dozen or so years. The lyrics are basically recounting supernatural horror tales, or stories of crime and decadence from the gutter, always violent and misanthropic e.g. on the (previously unreleased) opener "Go Tell Alice" they fantasize the Haight hippie massacre of the title set to the tune of Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit": "One bullet makes you slower/the next one makes you dead/and a bottle of patchouli/is crushed upon your head/Go tell Alice/that I'm not through yet...". It's not just hippies though, they have a bad word for everyone. On the live "You Don't Want to Know Me" they insult a member of the audience for looking like a grunge rocker. Reputedly live gigs often degenerate into good-natured(?) exchange of abuses between them and their audience, punk-rock style. As I said before, their songs sound more or less the same (you'll find more variation on a Ramones LP) but if I had to choose my favourites those would be the exotica flavored/themed "Tiki Man" and "Zulu Death Mask", rockabilly "Who the Hell Is Mrs. Valdez?" and hillarious hard-boiled country "Truck Driving S.O.B.". Sample lyric: "Two antique dealers in a SUV proceeded to cut me off/I followed them downtown to one of them artists' lofts/One of the guys came to the door, he said "Hi you must be Mitch"/I said "no" I punched him in the teeth and said "I'm a truck driving son of a bitch"/Aw yeah..truck driving son of a bitch/Chain smokin', baby chokin' truck driving son of a bitch". Among other goodies for the dedicated fan who already has all of Deadbolt's albums (I imagine there must be at least a dozen of them fans) this CD includes previously unreleased live and studio tracks, the craziest Burt Bacharah tribute ever "Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head" and a couple of songs ("Hang Em' High", "Stanger's Theme") from their alter egos The Strangers 1800 who perform exclusively music from old Western movies. As for them being the scariest band on the world, I don't know. I recently saw Ozzy Osbourne live (I think he was live, I mean he did move and sort-of sang, but he looked like a corpse). I saw the Meteors pick a fight with a poor fan in the audience - and that wasn't the scary part. The scary part was P. Paul Fenech taking off his shirt and unleashing his tattooed beer belly to the world. I saw Sky Saxon shortly before he died and he looked like a psychedelic skeleton with a cowboy hat - I'll bet the grass growing on this guy's grave is ten times more hallucinogenic than your most potent weed. On the other hand, an interviewer proclaimed Deadbolt to be "just about the nicest people you could ever hope to meet" - but then he proceeded to write about them carrying guns around, and of their guns going off in all kinds of directions. I guess I'll have to reserve judgement for after I've seen Deadbolt live...

**** for Tiki Man, Who the Hell Is Mrs Valdez?, Zulu Death Mask, Truck Driving S.O.B.

*** for Go Tell Alice, Cockeye, Shrunken Head, Down in the Lab, Swamp Witch, Last Time I Saw Cole, Watongo, Voodoo Truckers, Hang Em' High, Stanger's Theme, Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head

** for You Don't Want to Know Me [Live],  Edie, Hit Gone Wrong, I Saw the King, Pour the Bourbon [Live], Listen to the Message