This is kind of a special album for me. Not because I listened to it a lot - which I did, although I mostly remember watching the videos on MTV's French counterpart MCM, which was the closest we had to a music TV channel in Greece at the time. But because it reminds me of the last time I was in the mosh pit in a rock concert: Rockwave Festival, Athens 1999. To be honest, at that point I was kinda too old for that stuff: I was already out of college and had just opened my dental practice. That day I went to the festival early, and alone; my friends would join later just in time to see that day's "big names". So I was walking the festival grounds and checking the wares in the tents, when Terrorvision came out, earlyish in the afternoon. It only took a few seconds for me to realize that I wanted to be in the center of the mosh pit: I put my shirt in my backpack and headed to the front of the stage. 45 minutes later, to their great surprise, my friends saw me emerge from the crowd half naked and covered in sweat. They might have been less surprised if I was moshing to a "cooler" band - the previous year Bad Religion played Rockwave and I was only standing at the edge of the pit, pushing the younger guys back to the throng every time they came my way, as good etiquette dictates. Bad Religion were hardcore, but Terrorvision were thought to be too commercial, so why mosh to that? Well let me tell you commercial they may be, but the live energy was not to be denied. Why be cool when you can have so much fun otherwise?
I used to have this on vinyl, but sold it during the great vinyl purge. I got maybe €2 for it, which was a fair price then, although it's now worth around €60. Yes, obviously the vinyl purge was a bad decision but at the time my living arrangements were such that there wasn't enough space for all my records. Plus, the purge paid for two or three months' rent, which came in handy at the time. At least I wasn't alone in that, many people sold off their vinyl collections, although most did it in the 90's. Years later, I found the CD on discogs for €1, and added it to my basket even though most of the songs here are included in the band's Best Of comp, which I already had. With hindsight, what was another mainstream alt.rock/metal LP at the time, seems quite exceptional: In 90's UK, Brit Pop reigned; bands reviving the smart pop of The Beatles and Kinks. As for the US, it was all about grunge; no room for snappy bright choruses. Terrorvision had the playful lyrics and pop savvy of British bands, combined with the aggressiveness and energy levels of American ones. "Alice What's The Matter?" is an energetic opener with choppy riffs, rousing solos, shouty vocals and instantly memorable chorus. It's followed by the ridiculously catchy chorus of "Oblivion": "woo-op, bappa-woo-op, bappa-woo-op, bap-ba-woo!" - I may be paraphrasing here, but believe me it's an earworm if I ever heard one. And that lyric "Oh goodness, my gracious, I hope it's not contagious", it cracks me up every time! "Stop The Bus" has a hard rock guitar sound, but is still rather poppy - at times I don't know if it reminds me of Soundgarden or Lenny Kravitz. No such doubts for "Discotheque Wreck", an aggressive piece that seems specially designed for headbanging and slam-dancing. The more melodic, almost Beatles-y, "Middleman" brings it down a notch, completing a near-perfect opening quintet. "Still The Rhythm", "Stab In The Back", and "Time O' The Signs" are a winsome combination of funk, alternative rock, and metal, but aren't as immediately memorable as what preceded them. "Ten Shades Of Grey" and "Some People Say" are sort of the token power ballads - the latter successfully combines a shouty chorus with melodic strings. "Pretend Best Friend" was one of the album's singles: it starts with a catchy riff and singer Tony Wright speed rapping, followed by a slow lounge section. The fast and slow parts keep alternating, and while in theory this shouldn't work, it all gels together nicely. "What The Doctor Ordered" is a metal-oriented track, while the album proper ends with rocker "What Makes You Tick". The CD continues with 5 minutes of silence followed by a "hidden track" - just noises and people talking nonsense, really. Crappy hidden tracks; another reason to keep your vinyl rather than "upgrade" to CD (calling it an upgrade sounds silly I know, but that's what we thought we were doing back then). The band would continue until 2001 (and reform again in 2005, and on various occasions since then), but while they released some great singles throughout their career, they never bettered this album. Well, almost 30 years after its initial release, I say it's time to give Terrorvision their due and recognize How To Make Friends... for what it is: one of the all-time classic rock albums.
***** for Oblivion
**** for Alice What's The Matter?, Discotheque Wreck, Middleman, Pretend Best Friend, Some People Say
*** for Stop The Bus, Still The Rhythm, Stab In The Back, Time O' The Signs, What The Doctor Ordered, What Makes You Tick
** for Ten Shades Of Grey
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