I'm not a huge theater buff, but there are a few performances that have impacted me deeply, one of which was Lulu, starring future tv/stage star Kariofyllia Karambeti in one of her first roles. I was in my late teens at the time, and had never before seen such an amoral work of art. Immoral ones yes, but those are fun: a mischievous wink of the eye, a momentary revelling in breaking the rules. But there's no mirth in this play: here, the unscrupulous Lulu is a willing sex object to men and women alike. She acts callously towards people who profess to love her, abuses weaker characters and gets abused by stronger ones, finds refuge and fitting employment in a brothel, and ends up murdered at the hands of her sadistic customer Jack (the Ripper). As a matter of fact, I think that most of the characters die on-stage. It's been 30-something years since I saw the play, but I remember being immersed in the writer's gloomy worldview and leaving the theater both depressed and impressed. I know that there's an opera version of the story, but a heavy metal song cycle? Interesting!
Even more interesting, when one learns who it is bringing this song cycle to life. Lou Reed and Metallica, the pen and the sledgehammer. Could that pairing work? Reviews at the time were... not good. Indeed, some even called it the worst album of all time, certainly the worst in both artists' discography. That dissuaded me, a little. Yet when I came across a cheap 2nd hand copy, I decided to give it a try. Well, first of all, this may be inspired by Lulu, but it's not a straight ahead rendition of the story. It's more of a concept album/song cycle, similar to Reed's Berlin (1973) - A Berlin gone horribly wrong. First of all, Lou Reed isn't known for shying away from edgy material, but his libretto here is positively nasty: full of gratuitous violence and horrid sadomasochistic sexual imagery. There's also a lot of racist, misogynistic, politically incorrect language - though it's made clear that it's not the perspective of the writer himself but instead that of a seriously disturbed, self loathing, young woman. What makes it extra uncomfortable and weird is that her part is narrated in first person in Lou Reed's old man's croaky voice. His delivery also totally lacks passion, but I guess that chimes in with the emotionally detached viewpoint of the original play. Lastly, the biggest fault of this album is the lack of integration between the words and music. It seems that Reed, having written a cruel libretto, sought a suitably brutal musical backing, and who among A-list rockers would be better suited to that job than Metallica? Unfortunately, the music and singing/narration seldom match, as if each of them was creating their own part independant of the other. I was very surprised to hear Reed encouraging Hetfield "come on, James!" before one of his rare solos as if they were in the room together, because they don't sound like they've ever been in the presence of each other during the recording of this. Let's take a step back now, and look at the album track-by-track: Our introduction to the main character "Brandenburg Gate" starts off with an acoustic bit. It sounds like any song on an average Lou Reed album, with no hint of Metallica except for Hetfield singing the single line "small town girl" over and over in lieu of a chorus. Unfortunately, the band's playing isn't just unremarkable; it's bad. "The View" fares better; it actually sounds like a collaborative effort, in places where the pace quickens and James takes over the vocal, it's recognizably Metallica - even though lines like "I am the view/I am the table!" isn't exactly their typical lyrical fare. It's so rock'n'roll it even has a guitar solo! "Pumping Blood" is a mess of a song; it contains some of the album's most disturbing lyrics, and seemingly describes Lulu's murder in the hands of Jack The Ripper; but then shouldn't it be placed at the end of the album, rather than near the beginning? Metallica resort for a while to their familiar thrash attack; if one could isolate that bit from Lou's screams, it'd be the only salvageable moment of the song. "Mistress Dread" might actually have worked as a thrash metal instrumental - but with Lou shouting lines like "I am your little girl/ Please spit into my mouth" (and much worse) it veers on the unlistenable. Thankfully, it's followed by "Iced Honey" - a regular alternative rock track. CD1 closes with "Cheat on Me"; a 11-minute long meandering piece with a long synth intro. As in other songs, Hetfield chimes in with a short repeated phrase; some dislike these vocal interludes but I find them crucial in breaking the monotony of Lou's lead vocal. "Frustration" starts off CD2 with a promising heavy riff, but on the whole it's too disjointed to even call a proper song. "Little Dog" is an excruciatingly long slow acoustic ditty. "Dragon" heats up after the 3-minute mark, turning into something a Metallica fan might endure for the sake of their favorite band's past achievements. "Junior Dad" surprised me as a title; who's the junior dad in Lulu? Indeed, nobody; the song seems to be a letter to a deceased parent. Lou is backed by atmospheric experimental synth music while he recites a heartfelt poem. Aside from the spoken word element, it's completely different to the rest of the album, or anything Metallica may have previously appeared in. The closest relative I can think of is Nick Cave's Ghosteen LP , although that was released many years later. 20 minutes of that are sure to test the patience of any Metallica fan still listening, but I find it to be one of the album's better pieces. It just doesn't belong here. To sum up, this isn't the total catastrophe many present it as; There are 3 complete songs and 7 trainwrecks; while none of the trainwrecks is convincing on its whole, they all contain interesting ideas. Like Lou's infamous Metal Machine Music, Lulu is an (ultimately failed) art experiment. It's deliberately meant to repel, not attract, listeners, except for the bravest and most open-minded. David Bowie apparently called it a masterpiece. I don't know if he actually did enjoy it, but I'm sure he appreciated its innovative and uncompromising spirit. Metallica on the other hand had been coasting on autopilot up to that point; this detour wasn't a characteristic move for them, and did nothing to enhance their reputation, but neither did it harm them. I guess it gave them the chance to experiment without offending their ultra-conservative audience, who largely ignored this collaboration. As for Lou Reed, this turned out to be his last album. It'd be nice if he had indeed gone out with a masterpiece, but at least he didn't produce stale copies of his past hits ad nauseum like some other rock legends. This isn't recommended listening for fans of either artist, but who knows? David Bowie has always been ahead of his time; maybe, after another dozen years, we will listen this album again, and will acknowledge this with hindsight as a misunderstood masterpiece. In the meantime, I don't see myself listening to this too often.
*** for Brandenburg Gate, The View, Iced Honey, Dragon, Junior Dad
** for Pumping Blood, Mistress Dread, Cheat on Me, Frustration, Little Dog
