Friday 24 July 2015

Durwood Douché "Big, Banned & Blue: The Original Underground Sound Of Forties" 1997***

I got this at the platenbeurs (moveable open record/ cd market) in den Haag, never having heard of Durwood Douche but intrigued with the idea of original, banned, songs from the 40's - which it isn't. It's all new songs on -let's say- adult subjects, but impeccably played and produced, with a faux period charm that is utterly convincing. You see, Durwood Douché was actually the pseudonym of septuagenarian L.A. jazz pianist Dick Shreve, who's played all kinds of jazz clubs since the 40's and even worked with such big band legends as Benny Goodman. Supposedly the (uncredited) singers and musicians are also the cream of LA's jazz club scene. Based on the musicianship displayed, I tend to believe it. Opener "Why Me God" was Douche's first release with this name: It appeared on a 7' single as "Everybody's Fucking But Me" in 1979. Almost 20 years later, Douche's entire oeuvre was released on CD, in the US with the title "Everybody's Fucking But Me" and in Europe as "Big Banned & Blue". The result is utterly hilarious, mostly when the songs are seriously played. For example "Why Me God" is a blues ballad where the singer moans in deep emotional pain, Billie Holiday-like "Everybody's fucking but me/I just can't seem to get laid/And though it's well made, my pussy's useful only when I pee". It's followed by another winner, a music hall duet called "My Most Favorite Things" (a.k.a. I can't keep my mitts off your tits) and "Air For A Dinosaur", a combination of jazz, gregorian hymn and incessant farting sounds. "Mister Bumpy" is a jovial music hall number on exhibitionism etc. The cabaret style (complete with faux- Marlene Dietrich vocals) "Merrilou" deals with face-sitting and cunnilingus, while "I'm In A Pickle" is a fiddler on the roof parody about sex with vegetables - you get the idea. The music veers from big band swing ("Here You Are") to Sinatra ballads ("Front Naughty Nocturne") to Hank Williams C&W ("Crazy To Be Crazy Over You"), while the album ends with Doris Day-like holiday number "The Christmas Gift": "Just a little Christmas blowjob will brighten up his day". I've heard the CD quite a few times and never get tired of it: the comedy may not be to everyone's taste, but the tunes are so good you'll be humming them in the bus - just don't forget yourself and sing the lyrics out loud, people might take it the wrong way...
**** for Why Me God, The Christmas Gift
*** for My Most Favorite Things, Mister Bumpy, These Remind Me Of You, Merrilou, Duet In Blue And Brown, Here You Are, I'm In A Pickle, 'Front Naughty' Nocturne, Crazy To Be Crazy Over You, Without You, 
** for Air For A Dinosaur, The Limerick Blues

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