Lou Reed & Metallica "Lulu" 2011**

I'm not a huge theater buff, but there are a few performances that have impacted me deeply, one of which was Lulu, starring future tv/stage star Kariofyllia Karambeti in one of her first roles. I was in my late teens at the time, and had never before seen such an amoral work of art. Immoral ones yes, but those are fun: a mischievous wink of the eye, a momentary revelling in breaking the rules. But there's no mirth in this play: here, the unscrupulous Lulu is a willing sex object to men and women alike. She acts callously towards people who profess to love her, abuses weaker characters and gets abused by stronger ones, finds refuge and fitting employment in a brothel, and ends up murdered at the hands of her sadistic customer Jack (the Ripper). As a matter of fact, I think that most of the characters die on-stage. It's been 30-something years since I saw the play, but I remember being immersed in the writer's gloomy worldview and leaving the theater both depressed and impressed. I know that there's an opera version of the story, but a heavy metal song cycle? Interesting!

Even more interesting, when one learns who it is bringing this song cycle to life. Lou Reed and Metallica, the pen and the sledgehammer. Could that pairing work? Reviews at the time were... not good. Indeed, some even called it the worst album of all time, certainly the worst in both artists' discography. That dissuaded me, a little. Yet when I came across a cheap 2nd hand copy, I decided to give it a try. Well, first of all, this may be inspired by Lulu, but it's not a straight ahead rendition of the story. It's more of a concept album/song cycle, similar to Reed's Berlin (1973) - A Berlin gone horribly wrong. First of all, Lou Reed isn't known for shying away from edgy material, but his libretto here is positively nasty: full of gratuitous violence and horrid sadomasochistic sexual imagery. There's also a lot of racist, misogynistic, politically incorrect language - though it's made clear that it's not the perspective of the writer himself but instead that of a seriously disturbed, self loathing, young woman. What makes it extra uncomfortable and weird is that her part is narrated in first person in Lou Reed's old man's croaky voice. His delivery also totally lacks passion, but I guess that chimes in with the emotionally detached viewpoint of the original play. Lastly, the biggest fault of this album is the lack of integration between the words and music. It seems that Reed, having written a cruel libretto, sought a suitably brutal musical backing, and who among A-list rockers would be better suited to that job than Metallica? Unfortunately, the music and singing/narration seldom match, as if each of them was creating their own part independant of the other. I was very surprised to hear Reed encouraging Hetfield "come on, James!" before one of his rare solos as if they were in the room together, because they don't sound like they've ever been in the presence of each other during the recording of this. Let's take a step back now, and look at the album track-by-track: Our introduction to the main character "Brandenburg Gate" starts off with an acoustic bit. It sounds like any song on an average Lou Reed album, with no hint of Metallica except for Hetfield singing the single line "small town girl" over and over in lieu of a chorus. Unfortunately, the band's playing isn't just unremarkable; it's bad. "The View" fares better; it actually sounds like a collaborative effort, in places where the pace quickens and James takes over the vocal, it's recognizably Metallica - even though lines like "I am the view/I am the table!" isn't exactly their typical lyrical fare. It's so rock'n'roll it even has a guitar solo! "Pumping Blood" is a mess of a song; it contains some of the album's most disturbing lyrics, and seemingly describes Lulu's murder in the hands of Jack The Ripper; but then shouldn't it be placed at the end of the album, rather than near the beginning? Metallica resort for a while to their familiar thrash attack; if one could isolate that bit from Lou's screams, it'd be the only salvageable moment of the song. "Mistress Dread" might actually have worked as a thrash metal instrumental - but with Lou shouting lines like "I am your little girl/ Please spit into my mouth" (and much worse) it veers on the unlistenable. Thankfully, it's followed by "Iced Honey" - a regular alternative rock track. CD1 closes with "Cheat on Me"; a 11-minute long meandering piece with a long synth intro. As in other songs, Hetfield chimes in with a short repeated phrase; some dislike these vocal interludes but I find them crucial in breaking the monotony of Lou's lead vocal. "Frustration" starts off CD2 with a promising heavy riff, but on the whole it's too disjointed to even call a proper song. "Little Dog" is an excruciatingly long slow acoustic ditty. "Dragon" heats up after the 3-minute mark, turning into something a Metallica fan might endure for the sake of their favorite band's past achievements. "Junior Dad" surprised me as a title; who's the junior dad in Lulu? Indeed, nobody; the song seems to be a letter to a deceased parent. Lou is backed by atmospheric experimental synth music while he recites a heartfelt poem. Aside from the spoken word element, it's completely different to the rest of the album, or anything Metallica may have previously appeared in. The closest relative I can think of is Nick Cave's Ghosteen LP , although that was released many years later. 20 minutes of that are sure to test the patience of any Metallica fan still listening, but I find it to be one of the album's better pieces. It just doesn't belong here. To sum up, this isn't the total catastrophe many present it as; There are 3 complete songs and 7 trainwrecks; while none of the trainwrecks is convincing on its whole, they all contain interesting ideas. Like Lou's infamous Metal Machine Music, Lulu is an (ultimately failed) art experiment. It's deliberately meant to repel, not attract, listeners, except for the bravest and most open-minded. David Bowie apparently called it a masterpiece. I don't know if he actually did enjoy it, but I'm sure he appreciated its innovative and uncompromising spirit. Metallica on the other hand had been coasting on autopilot up to that point; this detour wasn't a characteristic move for them, and did nothing to enhance their reputation, but neither did it harm them. I guess it gave them the chance to experiment without offending their ultra-conservative audience, who largely ignored this collaboration. As for Lou Reed, this turned out to be his last album. It'd be nice if he had indeed gone out with a masterpiece, but at least he didn't produce stale copies of his past hits ad nauseum like some other rock legends. This isn't recommended listening for fans of either artist, but who knows? David Bowie has always been ahead of his time; maybe, after another dozen years, we will listen this album again, and will acknowledge this with hindsight as a misunderstood masterpiece. In the meantime, I don't see myself listening to this too often.

*** for Brandenburg Gate, The View, Iced Honey, Dragon, Junior Dad

** for  Pumping Blood, Mistress Dread, Cheat on Me, Frustration, Little Dog

Gouda record stores

I asked the AI to create a logo for me with the title Gouda Records, but it wouldn't comply. First time I ask something from ChatGPT (well, second time really - the first time, I asked it to write a record review and got a whole lot of -admittedly well written- nonsense), and all I got was instructions on how to draw it myself - as if I needed help on the ideas department! ChatGPT, you're all A and no I! Go back to writing some fool's doctoral thesis, and leave the creative stuff to us real men! See how nice I did it myself on MS Paint?

Anyway, what you may not know (I, at least, didn't, until my first visit to the Netherlands) is that Gouda is actually a city. For everyone in Greece, gouda is what you use when you want less flavor in any cheese-related dish. It melts quite nicely, adds some grease and a bit of yellow color to your food, and dilutes the taste of other cheeses when you use it as part of a cheese mix. But, to be fair, the only gouda we know in Greece is the "young" variety. During my last visit to Gouda, we sat at the Kaasbar on Market Square and tasted about a dozen varieties in various stages of maturing and with various added spices (fennel, chilli, mustard etc.). Fair is fair, there are also some really nice goudas - even young ones can be quite enjoyable when you get that creamy texture right. Back to Gouda the city, it won't surprise you to learn that it's the world capital of gouda cheese, but there's also another delicacy invented here which you should try, and that's the thin caramel cookie the Dutch call stroopwafel. Other than that, there's a marvelous medieval city center with all the trappings of traditional Holland: the canals and cute small bridges to traverse them, typical narrow Dutch houses, cobblestone streets, even windmills. There is also the impressive old Town Hall (ca. 1618) on market square where, every Thursday from April to August, the cheese market takes place: farmers make a public spectacle of auctioning their produce to cheese merchants in the age-old traditional manner, a great photo opportunity for tourists.

On Saturdays, it's just a regular market; you can buy fish, vegetables, a cheap tracksuit or a mobile case. Around the square there are many bars, cafes, and shops, including a record store: Rock Maniac (Markt 11) is of a respectable size for a medium-sized town. Here you'll find a good variety of new vinyl encompassing all genres (usually €25-30), used records (mostly €10-20, some offers for €1,5 or €5), and a rather smaller selection of CD's (new €10-20, used €5). There are two more record stores in the city center: Free Music High Fidelity (Turfmarkt 12) is housed in a well-preserved old Dutch house, situated right on the canal. It has a nice ambience and an eclectic, slightly overpriced, selection of vinyl (new LPs mostly over €35, some used around €15). The focus here seems to be more on hi-fi equipment than on the music. Last but not least (actually my favorite), there's Decades Vinyl & Vintage (Nieuwehaven 326). From the title, I expected to find an antique shop that also sells records; there are a lot of nice antique shops in the town, especially bookstores, some of which also sell records but don't expect to find anything of value there. Decades sells a few ornaments and other bric-a-brac, but it's mainly a real treasure trove of old vinyl; you won't believe how much good stuff there is to find in such a small shop. I was especially impressed by their jazz and soul collection, but there's also a lot of rock, reggae, latin and country. Prices mostly between €7 and €20, but there are also a few crates of offers (€3, also some good stuff here but in below-par condition). 

So that's my report on the record stores of Gouda, the 5th Dutch city I've presented in this blog after Rotterdam, Delft, Deventer, and The Hague. You'll notice that I'm still missing Amsterdam, which is the capital and biggest market for vinyl in the country; that's because, ever since I moved to Holland, each of my visits to Amsterdam is dedicated to a different purpose. If there's any time left for record browsing, I always spend it at Concerto. Given the size of the city, I'd need to plan a whole day trip exclusively for mapping the record store situation, which I aim to do at some point. 

Various Artists "Back From The Grave volume 9" 1965-67 (rec) 2014(comp)***

Now this one didn't come from Random Selection; sometimes I just review my Latest Acquisitions because that's what I happen to be playing at home. I got this from a Brussels record shop recently: it was raining and I got inside to get out of the rain; seeing as I stayed in the shop for well over an hour, I decided to buy something. Not that I was unfamiliar with the Back From The Grave series; quite the opposite actually. I've been an avid garage rock fan/collector since my teens, and have played volumes 1 to 7 (released between 1983 and 1988) to death - I know the lyrics of almost every song by heart. Over time, though, I became oversaturated with this kind of music. Every new 60's garage compilation released since the mid-90's seems to pale in comparison with Nuggets, Pebbles, Back From The Grave, even the more sprawling Highs In The Mid 60's series. Is it because it all sounds the same, or is it because the compilers are scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel? Maybe both. Anyway, back to the beginning of the series: 40 years ago, Crypt Records chief and record collector Tim Warren put out the first Back From The Grave LP, collecting obscure 45rpm singles recorded circa 1966. The difference between this and previous series like Pebbles and Nuggets was that he limited himself to the rawest sounding, and most aggressive, exemplars of the genre, eliminating any tracks displaying pop, folk, of psychedelic influences. The liner notes included a multitude of information on these very obscure bands as well as (humorously exaggerated) offensive remarks about every other genre of music, while the cover art always depicts mid-60's-clad zombies attacking caricatures representing all other music genes e.g. hip hop, jazz, disco, prog, techno, metal, alternative rock etc. As I said before, volumes 1 to 7, released in vinyl during the 80's, were among my favorites. Sometime during the 90's, volume 8 was released. I got it on CD, as I was mostly buying CD's at the time. It was OK, but hasn't made as deep an impression as the earlier ones. Fast forward another 18 or so years, and two further compilations appeared: volume 9 and 10 carry the tradition with similar track choices and cover art, but at the time I didn't rush to get them as I already have dozens (maybe even 100's) of great albums in the same style. Anyway, last week I wanted to buy something from that record store and thought that this one would be a safe buy, given the quality of previous volumes. One difference was that this time mr. Warren gives us some information on his method of recording those old 45's and digitally cleaning the sound. The quality of paper, printing, and vinyl is also better than the originals used to be, while the notes are full of amusing anecdotal details. I quote from wikipedia "there are only two copies of The Warlocks’ crazy mad ‘Beware’ in existence because the guitarist didn’t like being left off the recording and drove over the boxes of 45s in his truck! There's a band who drove to gigs in a hearse, one who employed their own band hairdresser, another who were just four 16 year olds". One might say that digital sound cleaning goes contrary to Warren's old "the rawer the better" ethos, but I say that it doesn't take away any of the music's original rawness, just helps preserve it as well as possible. That said, it's my impression that there's a slight dip in the quality of the music, not everything here is as aggressive or distinctive as with previous ones. The first tracks are among the strongest: opener "Circuit Breaker" is wild Animals-like R&B, followed by Zombies cover "It's Alright with Me". Here, surf-like drums give way to farfisa-led garage pop, then a slow blues interlude, then lots of screams and a short guitar/organ freakout. The Warlocks' "Beware" combines groovy organ with threatening vocals while side 1 closes with the rather unimaginative Bo Diddley pastiche "I'm Hurtin'". For a few seconds, it sounds as if someone snuck in a ska tune to start off Side 2, but pretty soon "The Edge of Time" turns into a real garage scorcher . "Don't Ask Me no Questions" sports a mean harmonica intro and a punked up Motown beat, while "It's a Cry'n Shame" is a fuzzed-up Yardbirds-style rocker. The Noble Savages' "Animal" lives up to its title, while the aforementioned 16-year olds (The Starfyres) close side 2 with a classic garage theme, the ex-girlfriend put-down "No Room for Your Love". All in all, maybe half of the songs on this LP are quite exciting while the other half are average but still listenable if you like raw 60's rock'n'roll. Previous entries had a much better killer-to-filler ratio, but this nevertheless still makes for a worthwhile addition to a legendary series.

**** for Circuit Breaker (The Pastels), It's Alright with Me (The High Spirits), Beware (The Warlocks), The Edge of Time (The Raevins), Don't Ask Me no Questions (Lord Charles & The Prophets), It's a Cry'n Shame (The Gentlemen), Animal (Knoll Allen and the Noble Savages)

*** for Like Father Like Son (The Emeralds), Tamborine (The Why-Nots), When I Feel Better (Unknown), Sad and Blue (The Donshires)

** for Something Better (The Turncoats), I'm Hurtin' (The Classics), Whizz #7 (The Shakles), No Room for Your Love (The Starfyres)