Guns N' Roses "Use Your Illusion I" 1991***

When Guns N' Roses' Use Your Illusion Tour hit my hometown of Athens in '93, I was having an acute attack of my chronic monetary deficiency and could therefore not procure a ticket. Knowing that sometimes halfway through the show guards allow a few fans in, I nevertheless took the bus to the city's Olympic Stadium to try to worm my way into the 80,000-seat venue. Support act Brian May (Queen's guitarist) was long gone when I arrived but, one hour after their projected appearance, there was still no sighting of Gn'R. The crowd became restless and the guards, sensing they were in for some unpaid overtime, were less than zealous in their duties and allowed me to enter the arena. There I coincidentally met a friend who had paid good money for the concert (I tried hard not to rub it in his face) and was getting more and more agitated. It would be another hour before the band took the stage and, despite giving a good performance, lost themselves thousands of fans. I, and many others, missed a big part of the show because I had to be on the last train, slightly after midnight while the band were still on stage. Things were worse the next day when the papers reported the reason for the delay: Apparently Axl was playing a game of mini-golf at the hotel and enjoyed himself too much to break it off and go to the venue. I'm pretty sure his Greek former fans have contributed to the Roses' subsequent decline from being one of the world's greatest rock bands to a music business joke. Word to the wise: don't mess with Greek fans. Our grandmothers can cast a mean curse on you. At least Axl had one redeeming moment that day: his piano playing in "November Rain" was much better than what one could normally expect of him and an unexpected highlight of the concert. The album it originally came from, "Use Your Illusion I", was part of a then unheard-of gesture: the simultaneous release of two double LP's. A risky and megalomaniac move, but Gn'R were able to pull it off, amassing combined sales of 35 million. In my own opinion, the albums are good but would benefit from some editing and a single CD/double LP would be preferable. On the bright side, there is musical progression and variation, as hard rockers rub noses with majestic ballads. For starters, look at how different the first half of this CD is: Opener "Right Next Door To Hell" is a breakneck-paced punk/metal number, followed by the Izzy Stradlin-sung Doors-like "Dust n' Bones", and then by a epic take on Paul McCartney's "Live And Let Die". Out of nowhere we get the sweet and sensitive (two words not usually associated with Gn'R) ballad "Don't Cry". "Perfect Crime" is pure metal a la Judas Priest, "You Ain't The First" is a country singalong and "Bad Obsession" is an Exile On Main Street-style blues romp with harmonica by Hanoi Rocks' Michael Monroe. "Back Off Bitch" and Izzy's "Double Talkin' Jive" are a couple of bad-boy-rockers and "November Rain" (with the piano intro that impressed me in concert) is the album's absolute highlight, an epic 9-minute ballad, overburdened with lush strings, choirs and guitar solos. Who said "Meat Loaf?" C'mon man, it's better than that, honest. Unfortunately, the album goes downhill after that. "The Garden" sports a theatrical performance by Alice Cooper but is otherwise a mess of different styles. Granted, so is the closing "Coma", but at least at 10+ minutes, it can afford to take some twists and turns. On "Don't Damn Me" Axl is candid about the reasons behind his bad-boy-antics but, this being him, he's defiant rather than apologetic. "Dead Horse" has a whif of country and "Bad Apples" is a decent Aerosmith-style rocker but, to be honest, most of the 2nd half of the album is filler. Guns n' Roses went on after that, with diminshing results: neither covers album "The Spaghetti Incident?" nor "Chinese Democracy" ($14 million and 15 years in the making) gained them any new fans. Maybe the recent return of Slash on lead guitar will reverse the band's downfall. In the meantime, Axl just made his debut as a temporary replacement for AC/DC's Brian Johnson who's in serious danger of losing his hearing if he continues touring. Now that's a band that never lets up: Lead singer dead? Rhythm guitarist suffering from dementia? Drummer incarcerated? New lead singer incapacitated? No matter - as long as the Riff Machine is functioning, they'll soldier on. If they even survive Axl Rose as the lead singer, there's no stopping them!

***** for November Rain

**** for Dust N' Bones, Live And Let Die, Don't Cry

*** for Right Next Door To Hell, Perfect Crime, You Ain't The First, Bad Obsession, Back Off Bitch, Don't Damn Me, Bad Apples, Dead Horse

** for Double Talkin' Jive, The Garden, Garden Of Eden, Coma